You wish you knew me.

dying my hair. got my bills paid. eclipse soundtrack is fucking dank. got kristen and billy their bday cards. erick comes back to va monday. got off early today. lounging. maybe finding a party? crossing my fingers for maegan ;) tired. peace.

sparklypills asked: No one deals anything to me that I could overdose on. I know for a fact that more people than just my dealer would be upset if I died. And, yes, he did write things about me. (: He may have been using me at some point but I never gave him much sooo...idk...I'm not him. I'm not too worried about it anymore though. I think this should probably be over now. If you want to keep talking shit that's fine by me... but it seems kinda pointless.

<3 Queen Bitch

damn it took me forever to find this. lol. i need to log on more. first off queen b, he may have wrote stuff about you, but it was all a ploy. he came out after he hit your twat, not my fault. whatever you got, maybe it aint so royal. and of course ur dealer would cry if u died, there goes his supply and demand. and your friends, would probably cry, becuase the person that made them feel like less of a whore was dead and gone. lol. when will you get it. you are just some sappy little stoner with a fucked up family, a fucked up mentality, and a fucked up perception. you think you are so bad, but really, your just a slut with an opinion. theres tons of you out there. i told u, this is all fun and games to me. that u keep feeling the need to message me and respond back, is all mind games. i have you wrapped around this finger. prove me wrong, delete this and dont write back. you probably cant. i have you right where i want you. u can insist your this and that, but really your just the person i cut down for fun. get it? your nothing to me. just a joke. a toy to play with. we could go on all day about what you do and i do, but in the end, you still write back. love it.

p.s.- u may be queen bitch, but your nothing but a servant to my taunts. nice signature though.

love always,

your obsession

I wanna sleep and watch Transformers. but instead, im working. I feel like shit, my mouth feels like shit, my ear feels like shit. im tired. but its whatever.

I am probably doing to dinner with Erick tonight. Then hanging with Nathan tommorow after I get off work. My gay morning classes for work Saturday. Maybe getting my toes done with Cindi afterwards. Later that night seeing Rachel, getting drunk and going to see Despicable me :) im excited as shit. then we get to have a faboulous lezbo sleepover in her bed. her roomate being our chaufer of course. lol. so that is my weekend. jammed packed, little to no sleep, having no clue what it holds for me. but im loving this life :) :) :)

Dating Erick. Loving Maegan. working all the time. Getting pierced. Watching ghost. Kissing in the rain. Spending money. Haven’t had a drink in almost a month. Buying clothes like a vain bitch. Painting my toes. Hating storms. Chain-smoking.

got off of work early. Going to Maegan’s mom’s congratulation dinner for her new job. Not seeing Erick til Friday. going to try to catch up with my sleep tonight. hopefully I will not have a gruesume night with my ear, like I did last night.

Maegan is on her way here. Ah, I love her :) XOXO

so for the first time ever, I had a boy grab me like he meant it, and kiss me under the stars. It was fucking amazing. I still don’t know what we are. What we will be. But I think I like it so much because he keeps me in the dark. Takes control. I didn’t realize it, but maybe that’s what I needed all along. I’m happy…for once. Abso fucking lutely thrilled. I have no clue where this is going, but I refuse to turn back :) :) :)

sooo, lets update shall we.

Last weekend was the shit, i got fucked up friday ( damn u strawberry vodka) and met some cool new people at brads basement party. saturday i sent myself to culpeper to stay with maegan. I got to visit my lorax baby and secretly chainsmoke in her room with her and her mom. lol. and sunday i exhaled myself back to greene and hung out with erick. I still have no clue whats going on with that. I cant bring myself to choose one way or the other. ugh. bella swan much? It was an ok weekend, but it went by too fast. This weekend is even worse, I am getting picked up right after work by maegan to go to culpeper again, then to front royal for her family reunion. I love hanging out with peoples families. seeing the way they act and interact with them. lol. its going to be a clusterfuck for sure, but im excited. and then sunday fireworks with this family, and then monday going to see my “daughter” :) She thinks the sun rises and falls over me, and i love that little girl to death. I gotta get her something for her bday, but i refuse to buy those fucking anamotronic guinea pig things that are like robots or some shit. She was crying on the phone last night becuase I couldn’t keep her this weekend. aww. I’ll see her monday, for sure.

Went to see eclipse last nite with aly. It was the fucking shit, other than all the 16 year old virgins crying and moaning over jacob or edward. I can not believe aly cried, lmao. now i am sitting here, waiting to take a shower so I can go blow some money and get a pedicure with aly. I will be with her thursday too when she gets her tongue done. stock up on freeze pops bitch. lol We are basically lezbos for the week. Its good though. I havent seen her in a while, im glad we are revamping and having a almost whole week together. She is pretty fucking awesome.

life is not perfect nor miserable, for once it is content and i am basking in it completely.

so I am not working today. no fucking kids, or babies crying. no changing diapers, all I have to worry about is me, myself, and i. and that is what is fucking grand.

watching mean girls, probably gunna pass out again, and then get this shit together.

I havent really seen nicki since last saturday. idk what is up with this situation.

me and maegan are close again. looking at apartments. plotting my next tattoo. loveing my job for the most part. need to get my car looked at. got my new tv. finished my baller fathers day card. got fucked up in culpeper :)

i havent really been writing lately. i gotta change that. got my ticket for Eclipse, fuck yeh. had bomb hamburgers today, thanks jeffery.

talking to a new guy. he may have potential.

blah,blah,blah.

thought id throw some salt in that wound :)

I have something odd to say.

I dated this girl… she dumped me. We lost contact. We sort of fell in love.

Sweet tragedy.

But I feel fine.

Ohhh, back in the day I was crazy for this girl, she was amazing… and still is.

It was a good fixing for me, I must say…

All I know is she makes me smile, and I feel the energy. I jumped. And now I’m waiting for the season to change. : )

She’s witty and quick, with a sharp tongue and she makes me laugh til my stomach hurts, and she’s too cute.

DAMN HEELS HAVE ME WEAK.

A mind. Honesty. sweet.

Words are just pouring out… I don’t know if this makes sense.

I just feel okay with her… I feel good with her.

I’m happy.

Looking forward to the good times with my lady.

… Where are my sunglasses…?

FUCK.

written by the jerimiah havoc.

its funny, did he ever write anything like that for you? or did he just use you for the nut and chronic? thought id keep in touch. you know, seeing as i love being that thorn in your side. well try not to overdose, i can guarantee it would be a small occasion, but it might upset your dealer. peace :)

What I find really pathetic is a girl who stalks my tumblr just to see if I rant shit about her. lol. havent been a pillhead since december? ok, you can say what u want. once a pillhead, always a pillhead. You are just some lonely sad bitch who likes to call everyone out but themselves. and im sure u would know the proper spelling of xantex. lol. whatever. if u see me in the public, step up, ok. I do this out of boredom. get it. making u have to keep fighting with me, is just sick fun to me. and if im so small and non-worrisom why do u feel the need to keep posting back…after six monthes…with the same lame come backs. lol. surrreee im trashy….sure i spend my money on whatever the fuck i want to. lol, none of that is relevent to the thing at hand. im trying to point out why u are such a lowly person. being that u try to pick out everyones flaws but urself. i mean honey, i have nothing to prove. I just like that u keep playing into it, and u keep saying this is the last time i’ll say this and the last time i say that. lol. but yet u continue to write back. i find it all very tragic and hilliarious. the girl who was so mad and blowing jeremys fone up cause he picked me over u, and then u take my sloppy seconds and swim in them like its a miracle from god. like the way its pathetic u cant get him to ever love u like u love him. the way he finds a way even in impossible circumstances to fuck u over again and again. and yet u keep crawling back to him and boo hooing about how much u wish he was the old jeremy. know that, is truly pathetic. being in love with a man who likes other men. and then being upset becuase of that. now that is sad. I mean, we can keep this going forever. I find it funny how u call me out becuase i fight with u over tumblr, yet didnt he break up with u over tumblr? admit he sucked ur friend off on tumblr? proclaimed how much he loved me when we dated, and rubbed that in ur face, becuase u had a tumblr? and to top it off, he has nothing to do with u anymore and u had to run to the gay friend he sucked off for support. now that, is truly sad. But if it helps u, calling me out on anything and everything u can find that u hate about me, go ahead. I hear thats good for people who repress the hatred they feel for themselves. bash me and swim in it. wallow in what u think are cruel words directed to me. i mean, it wont make u happy. and it certainly wont make me stop, but i mean, u really have nothing else to loose anymore rite?

ahhh, pretty hillarious the way a hypocrite defends themselves. how they call a person out on the things they do themselves.

The job is going ok.

I’m involved in some lust infused relationship/friendship. IDK wtf we are doing. I dont know what to say. We are caught in that sun moments before it finally falls and we get slowly dusted in the twilight. I dont know if I like it. If this thing likes me. I don’t think I’ve ever been in this kind of thing before. ?!?!?!?!?!

Me and Maegan are amazing great for each other. I cant wait to move in with them in November/December. Im fucking stoked.

I pay my bills, I get tattoos, and I buy booze and cigs. Thats my paycheck for the most part. lol. I’ve gotta save though, I need to. We shall see.

Well anyways, Im doing fine. Thanks for asking.

p.s.- Im still waiting for this epic ass kicking you promised. Don’t break a zantex or nerve over it. When you are ready to step up, I’ll be here. wow. I love the brave pill heads. pussy.